jock, meet grandpa jock
Mar. 12th, 2019 08:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ywkon_rpOkay so, Anna? Just not coming home one night after classes at her Very Important Law School? Definitely not as worrying as it could be, Malos supposes. He knows she's alive and the signals from their emotional bleed have been nothing but high strung excitement so she's gotta be fine, right? Right. Sure. It's not even the first time she hasn't come home.
He's chill, really. No big deal--
Hey what the fuck was that noise.
"Anna?" he calls, tentatively, moving towards its source. "That you? You're cutting it pretty close to your curfew, but--"
That's a joke. She doesn't have a curfew. She's like thirty, even if she doesn't look it.
(Malos is well, well aware this might not even be his daughter.)
He's chill, really. No big deal--
Hey what the fuck was that noise.
"Anna?" he calls, tentatively, moving towards its source. "That you? You're cutting it pretty close to your curfew, but--"
That's a joke. She doesn't have a curfew. She's like thirty, even if she doesn't look it.
(Malos is well, well aware this might not even be his daughter.)
Jocks run through the Irving lineage
Date: 2019-03-13 04:40 am (UTC)We're not in Aisela anymore, Noishe he thinks, before he remembers, oh. That's right. Origin had explicitly told him the rest of the party couldn't follow and neither could his dog(?).
Lloyd stops. Takes a breath. It's been so long since he's been on his own like this, and he already misses the comforting presence of his best friends, but it's alright. He's here to find Sheena and bring her home. Scanning the area for any immediate threats, he walks through a mostly empty alleyway, save for a homeless man he gives a few gald to and the smell of rotting food.
It's - weirdly familiar. The large cobblestone patterns that decorate the roadways, the rich, ornately built buildings that seem to glint in the full moon's light. He's been here before, Lloyd knows, but he can't tell just how -
Oh. Oh.
Panic leeches onto his heart within seconds, the idea of being back in Meltokio acting as an immediate way to make his blood-pressure rise. He had been avoiding Meltokio since -
since -
He's been avoiding Meltokio, avoiding the memories and the pain of it all, and he really doesn't appreciate just being dropped here again. Clenching his fists tight, Lloyd allows himself a moment of anger. Origin be damned, he couldn't spare a second of mercy to consider how Lloyd would feel being here?
But. Sheena's also here, and if there is anyone Lloyd knows feels just as much regret as he does about everything, its Sheena. He needs to find her.
Lloyd shakes his head, sets determination in his brows and continues forward. As he grows closer to what he knows is the city's center, he observes, looking over at shops and inns, and - is it just him, or are things different? That shop didn't use to exist, that inn was across the street... Small things, tiny inconsistencies that don't link to the memories he has in his head (and he knows the memories in his head, the ones he's repeated and repeated over and over when the clock chimes too late and he can't sleep, looking and picking for his mistakes, if only for the chance to say hindsight is 20/20.)
As he treks to the city's center, the relative quiet is broken by yells, alarms and sirens blaring over the city fountain. Soldiers pour out from the castle, and Lloyd knows better than to stay where he's at. While his head screams Sheena had something to do with this he knows too little, can't confirm his suspicions enough to march into the neck of trouble. So instead, he walks off to the side, disappearing into another small alleyway a little ways off the campus of Meltokio Law University. Forward he goes, turning at familiar points to reach the outskirts of the main city, where imposing buildings become smaller shacks, humble but no less pretty. One of them in particular strikes Lloyd, hidden in the back, a little shaded and rather private. It doesn't look like it's been abandoned, but it doesn't look like anyone lives there, either. It's definitely a good place to take a breather and figure out a gameplan, since inns in the city are out of the question at the moment.
God, he really misses his friends.
He walks up to the house, and, mumbling an apology, picks the lock for the back door.
Okay, Lloyd thinks, maybe someone does live here.
The house is kinda messy, clothes thrown a little haphazardly, textbooks and papers littering the table. He feels kinda bad just breaking in, but he doesn't plan on being here for more than like, an hour, anyways. If nobody is home, they probably won't even know he was here -
Someone's voice calls out, and Lloyd panics just a little bit. Fuck.
He looks back at where he's at, and he thinks about maybe making a break for it, because trying to explain why you broke in to someone's house never looks good, but he also knows that he'd have to sprint for the back room, and that'd be loud, because nothing about Lloyd is ever quiet. He's stuck.
Lloyd opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens his mouth again.
"Hi, not Anna, hope you don't mind solicitors?"
IT SURE DOES
Date: 2019-03-13 04:50 am (UTC)And then stops dead as he sees this kid's face.
It's- Architect it can't be, but that cowlick hasn't changed and he's got his mother's face and his father's goddamn red eyes and.
"Well sometimes I don't mind," Malos amends, because there sure as hell are exceptions like the one that just walked in his back door. "What's your name, kid?"
lloyd voice why is this man being so nice to me i just broke into his house
Date: 2019-03-13 05:00 am (UTC)"I, uh -" Lloyd rubs his left hand, the comforting presence of his mom's exsphere working to soothe his nerves just enough for him to introduce himself properly. "I'm Lloyd Irving. And, for what it's worth, I'm sorry for breaking into your house? Totally thought it was empty."
He shifts his footing a little, uncomfortable with the entire situation.
THERE ARE LIKE THREE PEOPLE WHO CAN DO THIS TO MALOS, CONGRATS KID YOU'RE ONE!
Date: 2019-03-13 05:52 am (UTC)Of course it's Lloyd! How could it be anyone but Lloyd?
Malos' expression immediately becomes something more akin to a blubbering fish. It's- it should be impossible, he thinks, this should be impossible, kids don't age that fast, right? Anna didn't age that fast! But.
He said his name was Lloyd.
Malos isn't sure if he should feel happy or just surprised to hell and back, his mind still spinning to keep up with this development. He gives up any attempt on being intimidating or hospitible and just plops himself down on the ground, burying his face in his hands, letting out a long, long breath.
Fuckin hell, fuckin hell, that's his grandson.
"Hoooo," he exhales, nice and slow. He laughs, a little, at Lloyd's worries. He's such a sweet kid, what the hell? Most of what Malos remembers of him is just constant demands to be lifted in varying levels of pleasantry, which Malos (of course) obliged with every time because fuck it the kid was adorable and once he got big his parents couldn't pick him up as easy anymore and someone had to do it, right?
"Can't exactly break into your own home, kid," Malos laughs. It is Lloyd's home, even if this Lloyd doesn't make a lot of sense. Malos swears Lloyd's not meant to be older than, what? Seven? Definitely not seventeen. Something fucky's definitely going on, though he's not sure he cares about the what. "How'd you even get here?"
LLOYD_PUCKOR.JPG
Date: 2019-03-13 12:59 pm (UTC)The man looks so surprised by Lloyd's existence that those two options seem to be the best ones, but then he explains his reaction and Lloyd is the one left in shock. His home? Who is this man, what does he mean?
Lloyd staggers back a little bit, looking around wildly. For what, he's not sure, but for something that could help him make sense of where he is. This man, he - he knows the Lloyd of this world.
"I." How does he even begin to explain himself? He takes another breather, his father's count to three method coming to mind, and composes himself. First things first, Raine would say, get a clear picture of where you're at and who you're with. Kratos would add on to keep yourself collected until you're sure you can handle the situation at hand.
"I'll answer that, if you tell me who you are? Where I am?"
Lloyd steps forward again, bracing his legs to Stop Fucking Shaking, because deep in his mind he knows that there is a chance, a small, minuscule chance, that this world's Anna is still alive, and -
Stay composed. Kratos' voice cuts deep into Lloyd's subconscious, and he's able to keep standing.
OH ME TOO KIDDO
Date: 2019-03-13 04:09 pm (UTC)"Oh, shit, good point," he says, to himself and to Lloyd. "Nah don't- don't worry about answering me yet, I'll go first."
Least he owes the kid, right? Probably scared the shit out of him.
"Name's Malos," he says. He doesn't move to get off the ground, but makes himself a little more comfortable where he is. Whatever, it's his own house, he can sit where he wants. "And if you're Lloyd Irving, that makes me your grandpa. Your mom's adopted." He adds that last bit because he knows 99 times out of 100 blades can't have children, so that's normally a pair of dots people need connected. 'Sides, it's not like he looks old enough to be a grandpa.
"This is, y'know, the house we bought while your mom went to law school," Malos continues. "Dunno where she is right now." (From the feel of the emotion bleed? Probably getting into trouble. He'll deal with that later, though. If she needed help, she knows how to get his attention.)
"Anyway."
Malos takes a second to gather his words, drums a short rhythm against his knees as he finds them.
"Sorry for scaring you like that, kid," he apologizes. "Haven't seen you in five years, y'know?"
LLOYD IS ALREADY LOSING HIS DAMN MIND
Date: 2019-03-13 06:02 pm (UTC)1.) This man in front of him, sat on the floor with a surprised yet undeniably fond smile, is his adoptive grandfather. In this universe he has a grandfather.
2.) His mother, Anna Irving, is alive. She's alive!
He gets approximately ten seconds of sheer glee before he remembers the truth. This is not his grandfather. That Anna he speaks of is not his mother. This Lloyd is an anomaly, an interdimensional traveler spit out on his ass to save his close friend and get out. He - he can't get comfortable. And maybe bitterness pumps through his veins, maybe the echo of goodbye, dad follows him at every turn, but he shoves it down, shoves the pain down and places a smile on his face instead.
He joins Malos on the floor, crossing his legs and resting his elbow on his knee.
"I - I'm not sure I'm the Lloyd you know," Lloyd starts, mentally berating himself. Of course he's not the same Lloyd, since he had to ask the man for his fucking name, but, he's nervous, still, and the pressing need to impress this man (the other Lloyd's grandpa) is choking his mind, funneling half-thoughts out of his mouth.
"I'm not sure how much I can. Explain. But I'm Lloyd Irving. That much is true. I came here in a portal."
He pauses, biting his lip, and counts to three again.
"It's nice to meet you, Malos," he says, blinking quickly, ignoring the burn in the back of his eyes.
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Date: 2019-03-13 06:57 pm (UTC)Malos looks Lloyd up and down, head cocked just a little to the side as he considers the boy who is-but-also-is-not his grandson. There's something... just a little off, about that smile. A little too wide, not quite meeting Lloyd's eyes. The way he chews his lip reminds Malos of his daughter.
Yeah. Something's definitely up.
Malos isn't sure how to approach it, but he files it away-- maybe it's just becuase meeting an alternate version of your grandpa is weird. Maybe this Lloyd doesn't have a grandpa, or has a different one.
(Maybe it's something else.)
He offers Lloyd a fond smile, concern easily masked under the gentle smirk his face tends to default on. He reaches out his left hand towards Lloyd, to shake, to break the ice a little.
"Nice to meet you, Lloyd," he says. "Anything I can do to help you out?"
no subject
Date: 2019-03-13 07:27 pm (UTC)"Actually - maybe? Have you ever heard of a girl named Sheena Fujibayashi?" Lloyd asks. He's putting his guess to no, Malos has no clue, but maybe asking around won't be a terrible idea at this point. "She's a friend of mine, I uh - I came here to find her."
Lloyd pauses, putting his hands in his lap, looking away from Malos. "And, um. You don't have to answer this one, but - if the last time you saw him - the other me, I mean - was five years ago... How old am I supposed to be in this world? And my mom, Anna, is she here?"
He plays with the bottoms of his suspenders, the smile fading into something smaller, more hesitant. Two years ago, if someone had told him that his mother was still alive in any form and that he'd maybe one day get to properly meet her, he would have fist pumped and gone on a journey to find her. As it stands, he's journeyed to save two worlds and his best friends, and he's made so many mistakes, carries so many regrets he's not sure he'll ever properly put at rest. He's tired, to be honest, but more than that, he doesn't know if he'll be the son Anna had wanted him to be at the end of it all.
What will this Anna think if she meets him?
The exsphere in his left-hand glints brightly. He places his right hand over it.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-13 08:37 pm (UTC)"Can't say I have," Malos admits. "Though if she's been here long, we could check the inns 'round town. Someone's probably seen her. Not- not tonight though. It's kind of late." He laughs.
Then Lloyd looks away-- Malos barely notices the fidgeting, knowing his daughter to be inherently restless, unsurprised his grandson is the same. But it's the saddening of the smile that gets him, that kickstarts a new wave of concern in his chest. And, the questions-- hesitant, cautious, filled with a deepset longing that's kinda hard to miss.
(Can you blame him from worrying? He is a father.)
"Well," Malos begins, then gets distracted by the glistening of that stone on Lloyd's hand. There's a brief flare in the ether around it. Malos blinks.
That feels almost, but not quite, like a dormant core crystal.
That feels like...
He pushes the thought out of his mind as well as he can, not wanting to leave Lloyd hanging. "Well," he says, again. "You should be about-- seven, I think, now? Somewhere 'round there." He rubs his fingers over the scars on his right wrist (just a portion of the scars that trail like spiderwebs down his whole arm, though most of them are covered by his shirt), absentminded. He wishes he could remember better, how old exactly Lloyd had been, before--
Anyway. The other question.
"Yeah, your mom's here," he says, the notion she wouldn't be ridiculous to him. If she wasn't, neither would he-- but maybe Lloyd hasnt put together he's her blade, yet. "She shoulda been home hours ago, but she has a track record for getting into trouble." He laughs, fond. "That, or she's just getting her ass kicked by homework."
He should leave it at that, but that stone just draws his attention back like a magnet. It won't stop nagging at him. No wonder, though. Even though humans don't have very strong ether signatures, Malos would be hard pressed to forget his daughter's.
"That stone..." he begins, but isn't sure how to follow up.
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Date: 2019-03-13 10:01 pm (UTC)Seven years old... When he was seven, Raine hadn't yet become the local schoolteacher, and he remembers days spent in Dirk's workshop in the heat, eating popsicles while his adoptive father showed him the ways to weld and assemble weapons and assorted items. It was the first year he was old enough to question the fact that his mama had left him, the first time Dirk sent him a look of quiet empathy and remorse.
Even with the slowly dawning realization that his mother was dead and his father was, probably, dead too, Lloyd's childhood was peaceful, calm. He had Genis and Colette, and Raine acted as the older sister he never had. His parents passings had been out of his hands, but it wasn't like they had any choice in the matter.
Goodbye, dad.
Lloyd pushes down nausea that rises up, along with a strong force of confusion. If this world's Lloyd is alive, and so are Anna and Malos... Why has it been five years since they last saw him? Is this world's Kratos alive? Does he know about his son? Did they choose to leave-
No, Malos doesn't seem like the type to abandon a kid like that. There has to be a reason. Right?
He's about to ask when Malos interrupts his thought patterns, and Lloyd grips his left hand tighter, eyes widening just a tiny bit before he forces as blank of a face as he can muster. It feels like his mother's exsphere is trying to spite him because it's certainly glowing brighter in this world than it did in Sylvarant or Tethe'alla. Well. His Tethe'alla. The blue light of the stone shines from beneath Lloyd's hand, comforting despite his panic.
"It's - it's a marble," Lloyd lies, because he's not about to tell Malos the truth of its origin, that the reason he never had a mom in his life all came down to this pretty blue exsphere. It's hard, lying has never been his thing, and he's sure Malos knows something is up. "It - it helps me control my mana."
NEW ACCOUNT TO UNLEASH THE FULL SPECTRUM OF GRANDPA
Date: 2019-03-14 05:21 am (UTC)Malos squints, not quite sure he wants to tell Lloyd that it feels like Anna, not sure he really wants to admit that's a thing that's happening right now. What if he's wrong, anyway? He just- he wants to be sure.
"Can I see it?" he asks. He'll ask once, Lloyd. Dad tone's already activated. He is going to get his hands on that stone, one way or another.
DOES LLOYD HAVE MALOS' PERMISSION TO SAY FUCK BECAUSE I THINK HE WANTS TO SAY FUCK
Date: 2019-03-14 06:01 am (UTC)Well, damn, Lloyd was hoping he would take the whole Literally Just Met thing to heart and ignore it but. Well, he seems to be pretty intent on seeing the exsphere, and Lloyd would rather - not - go into why he's so hesitant. Maybe letting him see it will satisfy his curiosity and he'll give it back and forget he ever saw it!
Slowly, gently, Lloyd pops the exsphere out of it's key crest and hands it to Malos, it's pulsing glow illuminating his face with blue light. Cold sweat piles up on his neck, and he's freaking out a little bit for multiple reasons, but mostly because. He's been a little more protective of his mother's exsphere as of late, the last link to his parents he has. It's a little gruesome to think about for too long, so he doesn't but he can't help the way his mouth goes dry, the way his hand shakes as he rolls the stone off his gloved hands and into Malos' grip.
"Be - careful with it, please." Lloyd says, hoping the shakiness of his voice isn't too noticeable. He also hopes his mom doesn't take this time to show up as a spirit, as she sometimes does when he's doing something particularly idiotic because that's something he really doesn't need to explain to Malos.
OH HE ABSOLUTELY HAS PERMISSION TO SAY FUCK WHER'ED YOU THINK ANNA GOT THE POTTYMOUTH
Date: 2019-03-14 06:20 am (UTC)It feels... weird. Again, that sensation of a dormant core crystal, or maybe... a broken one? A sick one? Like a blade but not quite, and still 100% pinging to his senses as Anna. What the fuck, honestly. He probes it with his own ether, curious about what this stone is, where it came from--
He regrets it immediately.
His vision goes black.
He can't see anything but he can feel, and he can hear a clamoring of voices.
Pain sharp cold fear fear fear no no no not now not NOW. Everything hurts everything-- rage fear rage no no NO.
"Anna!" Kratos, please-- "No I can't!!" Please please please while I'm still--
What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck
Something more, something deeper, something older. Poking and prodding nonstop nonstop pain anger pain anger snatches of converastion. Exspheres. Cultivated from human lives. Words in a vacuum, words that something in his core sing the truth of.
Malos drops the exsphere.
He feels bad about that, distantly, but mostly right now Malos is concerned with scrambling a respectable distance away from Lloyd because if his stomach decides he's going to vomit he sure as hell does not want to do that on his grandson. Architect. The FUCK was that.
Well.
He asked a question and he got an answer, he supposes, but.
Malos puts his head between his hands and breathes as well as he's able to right now, trying not to think about what he didn't see but unable to do anything but roll it over in his head becuase if he understands that like he thinks he understands that--
Taps on his core crystal, breaking through the spiral. Anna.
U ok?
He's supposed to tap back once for yes, twice for no. He's not sure if he's okay or not.
He taps three times.
"What... the fuck..." he wheezes.
LLOYD SAYS FUCK
Date: 2019-03-14 03:38 pm (UTC)Although he looks up with half a mind to scold his own alternate universe grandfather for failing at the One Thing Lloyd told him to do, the anger is choked at his throat, concern taking its place. His eyebrows pinch together in worry, and he scans Malos up and down, looking for any immediate injury or possible backlash the exsphere might have caused...?
There aren't any physical injuries, so Lloyd is kinda at a loss until he properly takes in Malos' stance. Lloyd hesitates, clears his throat because he doesn't exactly know what's going on but he has a very bad theory, and even though Raine said they should always be tested and corroborated he really doesn't want to think Malos saw -
At Malos' shocked, wheezed expression, Lloyd reaches out, just a little, to see if Malos would want whatever physical comfort Lloyd could offer, because if he's right, Malos just saw his daughter die.
"I - did you..." He starts. Licks his lips. Try again. "The exsphere... It showed you the night my - my mom passed away, didn't it."
The exsphere isn't glowing as brightly as it had been. Lloyd scoots a little closer to Malos, the need to help him like others had helped Lloyd on his nightmare nights pressing so deeply into his chest he feels sick himself.
LET IT OUT LITTLE MAN
Date: 2019-03-14 05:08 pm (UTC)His eyes dart towards the exsphere, trying to comprehend it the only way he knows how. It's not a blade, obviously, but is- is Anna in there? Is she aware? Can she--
A data package bubbles up in his brain, a message almost urgently relayed by the network. A quick infodump that further explains what exspheres are, how they work-- disgust bubbles in his throat, as well as crisp understanding. Anna ain't coming out of that rock, then.
Malos lets out the breath he was holding, long and slow. He's still shaken up pretty bad (literally just watched his daughter die!!) but he does his best to at least get a hold of his anger because he doesn't want to take it out on Lloyd. He can't stop trembling.
But he looks at Lloyd, considers the gentle question Lloyd asked, and realizes--
Lloyd's probably seen this memory too, huh? Or maybe he was there when it happened.
(Malos isn't sure which is worse.)
There's a lot of things Malos wants right now but highest on the list of ones he can actually do something about is hug Lloyd. He knows better than to just hug someone new without warning them first (and maybe Lloyd doesn't want a hug from the grandpa he doesn't probably have in his own world) so:
"Can I please hug you," Malos asks.
grandpa is the best enabler
Date: 2019-03-14 05:26 pm (UTC)Lloyd knows the nightmare well. After defeating (killing his mind whispers, you killed them) Zelos and Mithos, after Kratos' departure, Colette, Genis, and Sheena were witnesses to the nightmares that haunted Lloyd. It felt like they took turns sleeping in the same bed with him, just so they could wake up as soon as he started trembling and calm him back down to sleep.
The nightmares alternated. Sometimes it was Zelos, the blood leaking into Lloyd's already crimson pants as Zelos died in his arms. Other times, it was Mithos, his sword piercing Mithos by accident, blood coating the once shining blade with regret and misery. Most of the time, it was his mother's death. He couldn't remember it clearly, not to an extent that someone like Kratos could, but he could remember rain, the screaming, the roars.
He can remember the terror that gripped his heart.
Lloyd shakes his head. Not the time.
At Malos' request, he crawls over to his not-grandpa and throws his arms around him. It's not Colette's gentle hug, or Genis' one-armed shoulder hug, or even Sheena's somewhat awkward three-pats-on-the-back-in-silence hug, but it brings an insurmountable amount of relief to Lloyd's system anyways.
"I'm so sorry you had to see that," he mutters into Malos' shoulder, and if his voice breaks. Well.
It's not hard to understand why.
ALWAYS
Date: 2019-03-14 05:54 pm (UTC)"My own damn fault," he mumbles, in response to Lloyd's apology. "Shouldn't've gone prying."
He exhales, soft, into Lloyd's hair.
"I'm sorry..." he begins, but isn't sure how to follow it up. Sorry your mom's dead? Sorry you never got to know her? He means those sincerely, but the thought of saying them just makes him kind of feel like an ass. More and more about this Lloyd and the scars on his heart are becoming more apparent to Malos (though this is still, only, scratching the surface, not that Malos is aware), and it breaks his heart, sorrow deep in his soul as he confronts the sadness of a boy who never really got to know his mother--
(He thinks of his own Lloyd, little and alone-- Dirk promised to take care of him, but is that really the same?
He's pretty sure it isn't.)
Malos squeezes Lloyd tighter.
"Sorry," he says again.
It's all he knows how to say.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-14 06:14 pm (UTC)He's embarrassed, the fact that he's crying, hugging this man who he just met just because he happens to understand, because Lloyd doesn't know how else to bottle up how he's feeling, just goes to show him he's no less the kid he was when his journey started almost two years ago. I can't be strong like this he thinks, because how is he going to protect the only family he has in his world when he breaks down like this?
He sniffs, stifling the sobs he wants to let out so badly because this was supposed to be for Malos. Lloyd has had fourteen years to accept and cope with the loss of his mother, he shouldn't be this weak about it. The shadows in the depths of his mind laugh at him, know that his loss of composure has less to do with his Anna and the regrets he's lived through in the past two years, the things he's lived to learn and the things he's lived to do. He's so tired of the anxiety that sits in the pit of his stomach, waiting for the day the other shoe drops and he loses someone else, so tired of smiling off the swirls of misery that pound in his mind, that make him remember every mistake he's made.
He curls a little more into Malos' chest, forcing a silence that speaks more words than he feels he should.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-14 06:26 pm (UTC)He sits and lets the silence fester for a moment, trying to sort through what to say, and his own, fresh, bubbling guilt. He can't do anything other than assume this breakdown is mostly about Anna and her lack in Lloyd's life. When Anna gets home (after he hugs the shit out of her), they're gonna need to talk about that. Law school is not a dangerous place for a child, and she's full of shit, and it's time she realize that.
(Not that Malos is wholly blameless, but, hey, at least he can try and fix it.)
"You wanna talk about it?" he offers, gentle. Or, because sometimes bad memories don't need to be talked about any more than they already have, just endured, he offers: "Or I can sit here and rattle on about something else, if you'd rather a distraction."
no subject
Date: 2019-03-14 06:49 pm (UTC)Malos is talking to him, he manages to register in his attempts to force up more walls. Talking about what just happened is out of the question - Lloyd does not want Malos to know about. His life, doesn't want him to know about the shit he's been through. He also doesn't want to go into those topics, either. Not now, not without Sheena's familiar presence and the strength it lends him. Lloyd's not sure if he's strong enough to speak about his fuck-ups out loud, not when he just wants to make Malos proud, the grandpa he never had.
But a distraction sounds nice. While curled up on Malos' chest, Lloyd noticed the existence of a stone, a crystal placed a little below his collarbone, and it drew his attention for only a few seconds before his mind focused on his own bullshit. Maybe now would be a good time as any to ask about it.
"Oh," Lloyd starts, and he coughs lightly, attempting to make his voice sound stronger than it is. Another smile is shoved onto his face, fully committed to changing the subject. "The - the crystal on your chest. Is it... It's not an exsphere, I know that, but. What is it?"
no subject
Date: 2019-03-14 08:49 pm (UTC)He offered a distraction, so a distraction he'll give.
He reaches up to touch his core crystal as Lloyd brings it up, fingers tracing the half-diamond shape set into metal ornamentation that is only half-full, now. He can feel his ether pulsing under his fingertips, a steady beat.
"It's a core crystal," he answers. He remembers that Lloyd said he wasn't from this world-- and is pretty sure, now, that Lloyd's world doesn't have blades. "It's what blades like me have instead of a human heart. Call it... the core of my being. Everything I am? Stored right here."
Maybe not too different from exspheres, Malos thinks, now, but he doesn't want to bring it up.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-14 09:27 pm (UTC)A stone holding the essence of a being's life? He's seen them, held them, broke them, stopped them from being produced - it's not an exsphere, Malos implies, but Lloyd fights off a wince at the similarities between the two.
But maybe, Lloyd's mind supplies as he stares at the exsphere on his left hand, he's just thinking too hard about it. Maybe these - blades, as Malos called them, don't work like people with exspheres and cruxis crystals do, maybe core crystals aren't produced the same, and aren't as awful as exspheres are. Maybe they act like cruxis crystals without the side-effects -
The necklace stuffed under his shirt burns on his skin, the way it tends to do when Lloyd thinks about cruxis or the crystals associated with them. He ignores it, instead rubbing at his left wrist with a little more force than usual. It's fine. Figure out more about this world, don't worry about yourself, or your home. We're here for Sheena.
"So... You're a blade? You're not exactly sword-shaped, y'know," Lloyd jokes, glancing again at Malos' core crystal. He shifts on the floor, stretching his legs out in front of him, "What's the difference between you and a human? Is everyone on this world a blade?"
no subject
Date: 2019-03-15 03:20 am (UTC)Realizes Lloyd doesn't get the joke.
Elaborates.
"No, look, there's humans on this world too-- your mom's one of 'em!-- and the difference is. Hm," He pauses. He's never had to explain it before? "Well, biologically, humans run on blood, blades run on ether. Humans can't really manipulate ether, either. ...Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself."
What's the most basic shit about blades that Lloyd needs to know? Oh, duh.
"Look... blades are..." He tries to pick the words, and it's weird, because he's so used to everyone just Knowing this shit. "When we die, we don't die, die. We return to our core crystal until someone comes around to wake us up again-- but, we do lose our memories when we return to our core crystals, so it's kind of like dying, I guess."
That got kind of grim. Uh. Anyway.
"When someone wakes us up, this thing calls resonance happens, tying us to our driver. Blades help their drivers with all sorts of things-- mostly we're good for fighting, but..." He smiles, fond. "I mean, I raised your mother, since she resonated with me when she was young and... Well, she didn't have anyone else."
His expression gets a little distant, fists clenching for a moment. The fact Anna had to watch her grandmother, her only living family, die? Makes his gut churn. (And is definitely part of why the idea Lloyd had to watch his mother die makes him feel so sick.)
"Anyway." He snaps himself out of it. "That's the basics, I think. Lemme know if you've got questions."
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Date: 2019-03-15 03:56 am (UTC)He doesn't really blame Malos for his lingering confusion though. The processes and concepts he's describing don't sound like they could be easily explainable - he'd probably have just as much luck trying to explain it even if he were knowledgable. But he trucks on anyways, tries not to show on his face that he only really understands like, a fraction of what was said, and files it all away for later. Maybe Sheena knows more about all of this. When he finds her he'll ask.
(He makes sure to use "when" instead of "if". His chest tightens with fear over her missing status, and he really, really misses her.)
Blinking back to reality, Lloyd catches onto something implied in Malos' explanations. Resonance, is it like an emotional link between a blade and a driver? Or is it something else? If his mother was adopted by Malos because she resonated with him, Lloyd imagines it has to be. But then - why did Anna resonate with Malos? Why was he in a position to adopt her -
Oh. Something clicks within Lloyd's mind. Was Anna an orphan? Like he thought he was (and really, still is, with Kratos lost to space) all this time?
A feeling like dark kinship settles in Lloyd's stomach. He feels awful, would never wish losing someone's parents on anyone, but... Knowing that he and his mother both had to suffer through that makes him a little more sure that maybe they'll understand each other better than he feared when they finally meet.
After a few moments of silence, he glances up at Malos. "Thank you for the explanation!" He says, and he means it. "I can work with it, I think. I'm sure I'll learn as I make my way around here."
He stands up, offering a hand to Malos with a smile. "Sorry for breaking in, but. I'm really glad I got to meet you. I gotta get going so I can find my friend, assuming all of the soldiers running around are gone."
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Date: 2019-03-15 04:42 am (UTC)Lloyd doesn't get a chance to answer, because it's then that the front door slams open. They have a clear view of the doorway from where they're sitting/standing, which means Malos sees his daughter and immediately launches to his feet to wrap her up in the tightest hug he can, considering he just watched her-- an alternate her, but still her-- fucking die.
((And then the rest of this shit happens in the other thread!))